So am I surprised at the violence in schools?  No, I'm not. I remember the anger and resentment I felt and that was twenty five years ago.  But fortunately I had the morals and support from home to survive and thrive. 

  Yesterday, here in Oklahoma we had a shooting in a middle school in Ft. Gibson. 
Ft. Gibson is a small military town in eastern Oklahoma.  Not the kind of place you would expect a shooting, but it is time that people realize that no place is safe from senseless violence.

Many children can cope and survive the cruelties of other children because they have a loving and caring home.  But today, that is not always so.   Many children come home to an empty house and have no one to listen to their complaints. Teen suicide is up because teens develop a sense of hopelessness. Our society has become increasingly expensive and complicated, forcing a many mothers into the workforce whether they want to or not.  We forget that these students are often children of parents who are still recovering from being raised in the politically and culturally unsettled time of the sixties. Now, more often than not, children are being raised in a single parent home or by step- parents.  Early in life, strategic ties that generate security are broken.

We live in a society that shows constant violent images.  Turn on any cartoon, movie or TV show.   Look at the video games.  At our local Sand Springs movie theater, there is a large video game in the lobby in which you shoot aliens and blow them to graphic misery.  Even if you don't allow your children to play the game, they can't help but see the gory previews. We show continual sexual images and wonder why we have so much teen sexual activity.  If we feed children enough violence, we will reap the rewards of that education.

As a parent of five teens, I know.   Many of my children are adopted and came with the baggage of depression and psychiatric problems.  I have seen the underlying violence but I have also seen how they hide it so parent wouldn't see it.  I have deleted violent and pornographic images that they have found on the Internet.  I have experienced the fallout of their emotional problems, so I know how violent thoughts play in these children's minds.

But it isn't just my children that came to me via foster care.   I am more frightened by their friends, who aren't carrying that baggage.  They foster the same anger, blaming everyone but their selves for the wrongs (imaginary and real) in their live.  And their parents aren't even aware.

My older children didn't have TV for the first five years of their lives and then were raised as sheltered home school children.  Of course, I could not shelter them from all violence and harm.  They have had their moments, but it was mild in comparison to what the average teen struggles with today.  Even when they struggled with issues of right and wrong, I knew they had the right morals to make those decisions with.

I wish that I could offer a solution.  Banning guns is just a band aide that politicians used to appear to provide a solution.  Character education in schools sounds like a wonderful idea, but that too is a band aide.  Character and morals are formed long before children ever enter the school.  Parents should be responsible for that.  Taking children to Sunday school and expecting a bible lesson a week to teach morals is ridiculous too. 

We certainly can't go back to the good old days (that probably weren't so good, they spawned the rebellion of the sixties and the violence of today.)  I know many are hoping that a total breakdown of society in Y2K will bring us back to a slower pace.  I seriously doubt that will happen either.  I would hate to see the violence and anger present today unleashed in a system without any controls. 

Parents must take responsibility for the moral education of their children and it is our responsibility, as a society to aid those parents who don't know where to start.  Society must switch from coping with the fallout of poor parenting to the strengthening and educating of families.  Somehow, we must create a support system to replace the family support that was historically available. Change will only happen if we, as a society cooperate and make it happen.  It cannot be legislated.  It must begin with individuals reaching out to others, families to other families.  We must restore hope to strengthen families.  Only then will we turn this tide of destruction in our country.